The secret to the formation of planets may lie in ordinary static electricity—the same phenomenon that can make your hair stand on end or give you an electric shock after walking across a carpet.
A new study, published in Nature Astronomy, suggests that static electricity allows tiny dust particles in protoplanetary disks—the rotating platters of gas and dust that form around young stars—to clump together into “pebbles” that are large enough to play a role in the formation of planets.
The image above shows basaltic beads, each measuring 0.55 millimeters, that were used in an experiment, which took place aboard a suborbital rocket.
The findings help resolve a mystery that has shrouded something called the bouncing barrier—the size threshold that particles must reach in order to rely on gravity to join with other particles—says lead author of the study Jens Teiser, an astrophysicist at the University of Duisburg-Essen in Germany.
The dust particles need static electricity to make them “sticky” enough to cluster into pebbles that can form planets.
Only when particles grow larger than this threshold size—roughly a quarter of an inch, depending on conditions—can they eventually join to form rocky “planetesimals,” from about half a mile to 100 miles across, that scientists think then collide within protoplanetary disks to create planets like Earth.
Smaller “dust particles don’t stick together,” Teiser says, unless they have an electrostatic charge.
Static electricity is produced when different objects with an imbalance of positive and negative charges make contact, which results in an electrostatic charge. In this case, the electrostatic charge is generated by collisions between tiny dust particles, which can cause them to either gain electrons or lose electrons, resulting in a negative or a positive charge, respectively. Oppositely charged particles will then attract each other—according to the law of electrostatics—and can clump together to create even larger charged particles, Teiser says.
Teiser and his colleagues suspected this was the case after conducting “tower drop” experiments with tiny basalt particles, in which they observed the behavior of these particles during nine seconds of near-weightlessness. But that wasn’t enough time to reach a conclusion, so in 2022 the researchers performed an experiment onboard a suborbital rocket that launched from Kiruna in northern Sweden, to observe how the particles behaved during six minutes of weightlessness.
During the 2022 launch, described in the latest study, the rocket reached an altitude of about 160 miles, and weightlessness kicked in as the rocket’s payload fell back to Earth. At that point, a particle reservoir aboard the vessel opened, releasing the particles. In some cases, the reservoir was shaken to give the particles electrostatic charge, but in other cases, it was not. Only those particles that had been shaken began to assemble into an aggregate. The largest cluster, shown in the image, was a little more than an inch in length. Teiser says his team of researchers sent four versions of their experiment aloft in the rocket, each with different starting conditions.
The researchers believe their findings suggest that the dust particles in protoplanetary disks need static electricity to make them “sticky” enough to cluster into pebbles that can form planets. They were also able to calculate the maximum average speeds the tiny particles can travel when they collide if they are to create clumps: about a foot and a half per second. Collisions at greater speeds tended to erode the surfaces of large clusters.
The results will be used in models that try to explain how massive planets like our own arise from mere dust.
Some people sneeze very loudly. For the Washington Post, Teddy Amenabar, Álvaro Valiño, and Artur Galocha used animated illustrations to show what brings that on, along with tips on how to sneeze quietly.
Each year, in late spring and early summer, female sea turtles will crawl out of the ocean under moonlight to lay their eggs in the sand, often returning to the same beach on which they were born many years earlier.
Sometimes when the turtles emerge to nest, researchers like Julianna Martin are watching patiently from the shadows.
For her doctoral research, Martin, a PhD student at the University of Central Florida, has been analyzing sea turtle tears. Yes, the tears of sea turtles. So on several summer nights in 2023 and 2024, she’d stake out beaches and wait for the turtles to start laying eggs. At that point, the reptiles enter a sort of “trance,” she said, allowing scientists like her to collect samples, including tears.
Martin told me she would army crawl up to the turtles on the sand and dab around their eyes with a foam swab, soaking up the goopy tears they exude. Sea turtles regularly shed tears as a way to expel excess salt from their bodies. (As far as we know, they are not sad.)
Martin would then take those tears back to her lab for analysis.
This odd work serves a purpose. Martin is examining sea turtle tears to see if they contain a specific kind of bacteria. Such a discovery, she said, could help unlock one of biology’s biggest and most awe-inspiring mysteries: how animals navigate using Earth’s invisible magnetic field.
The “holy grail” of sensory biology
After baby turtles hatch, they dig their way out of the sand and crawl into the ocean, where they embark on an epic journey that can take them thousands of miles across the open sea. Loggerheads that hatch in Florida, for example, swim across the Atlantic and reach islands off the coast of Portugal, before eventually returning to Florida’s beaches as adults to nest.
Remarkably, the turtles typically return to the same region of Florida or even to the same beach.
“These young turtles can guide themselves along that 10,000-mile migratory path despite never having been in the ocean before and despite traveling on their own,” said Kenneth Lohmann, a biologist at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill who studies sea turtle navigation.
Researchers like Lohmann have learned that sea turtles, like many other species, seem to navigate using Earth’s magnetic field. That’s the subtle magnetic force — generated by the planet’s molten metal core — that surrounds Earth, not unlike the force around a bar magnet. The intensity and direction of the field vary across Earth’s surface, making it useful for navigation. Plus, the magnetic field is present even when other spatial cues, like light, are not.
What remains a mystery, however, is how animals sense these magnetic forces. Decades of research have failed to turn up a mechanism for so-called magnetoreception or any kind of specialized organ that can sense magnetic force. As Martin’s adviser Robert Fitak has written, it’s like knowing an animal can respond to something visual but not finding any eyes.
“It’s the last sense we effectively know nothing about,” sensory biologist Eric Warranthas said about magnetoreception. “The solution of this problem I would say is the greatest holy grail in sensory biology.”
Scientists have proposed a number of theories for how this might work. And all of them are totally bonkers.
The prevailing theory is rooted in quantum mechanics, and it is extremely complicated. The theory posits that when certain light-sensitive molecules known as cryptochromes absorb light, they produce something called radical pairs — two separate molecules each with one unpaired electron. Those two unpaired electrons are quantumly entangled, which essentially means that their spin states are interdependent: They either point in the same direction or opposite directions, and they ping-pong between the two.
This theory suggests that Earth’s magnetic field influences the spin states of those radical pairs, and that, in turn, affects the outcome of chemical reactions in the body of animals. Those chemical reactions — which animals can theoretically interpret, as they might, for example, smells or visuals — encode information about Earth’s magnetic field. (If you want to dive deeper, I suggest watching this lecture or reading this paper.)
Another theory suggests that animals have bits of magnetic material in their bodies, such as the mineral magnetite. According to this theory, those magnetic bits are influenced by Earth’s magnetic field — just like a compass — and animals can sense those influences to figure out where they’re going.
Martin and Fitak’s research is exploring this latter theory, but with an important twist. They suspect that sea turtles and other animals might rely on magnetite to sense Earth’s magnetic field but may not produce the magnetite themselves. Instead, they suggest, sea turtles may have a symbiotic relationship with magnetite-producing bacteria — literally living compasses — that sense the magnetic field and somehow communicate information back to the turtle.
This isn’t an outrageous idea. Magnetic bacteria — more technically, magnetotactic bacteria — is real, and quite common in aquatic environments around the world. Plus, there’s evidence that magnetotactic bacteria help another microscopic organism, known as a protist, navigate. The question is, could they help turtles navigate, too?
Magnetic bacteria is a thing
Magnetotactic bacteria are extremely cool. These microscopic organisms have what are essentially built-in compass needles, said Caroline Monteil, a microbial ecologist at the French research institute CEA. The needles comprise chains of magnetic particles produced by the microbes, which you can see under a microscope (shown in images below). Remarkably, those needles align the bacteria with Earth’s magnetic field lines, just like a real compass needle does. As the bacteria roam about, they move in line with the direction of the planet’s magnetic force.
Magnetic sensing is useful for the bacteria, said Fitak, an assistant professor at UCF. Magnetotactic bacteria need specific levels of oxygen to survive, and those levels tend to vary with depth. Deeper levels of sediment in a stream, for example, might have less oxygen. In most of the world, the direction of the magnetic field is at least somewhat perpendicular to Earth’s surface — meaning, up and down — allowing the bacteria to move vertically through their environment to find the optimal habitat, as if they’re on a fixed track.
In at least one case, magnetic bacteria team up with other organisms to help them find their way. A remarkable study published in 2019 found that microscopic organisms in the Mediterranean Sea called protists were able to sense magnetic forces because their bodies were covered in magnetic bacteria. When the authors put the north pole of a bar magnet next to a water droplet full of protists, they swam toward it. When they flipped the magnet, the protists swam away. (Different magnetic microbes are attracted to either north or south poles, often depending on where on Earth they live.)
You can actually see this in the video below.
It’s not clear how the magnetic bacteria are actually guiding the protist, said Monteil, the study’s lead author.
Now, returning to the turtles: The theory that Fitak and Martin are exploring is that sea turtles, like protists, might also have magnetotactic bacteria — those living compasses — in their bodies, and somehow be able to read them. Some microbes in the microbiome aid in digestion. Others provide directions. Maybe.
One idea, Martin says, is that the bacteria could aggregate near nerves in the turtles that provide information about their position in space. Some of those nerves are near the tear ducts, she said — which is ultimately why she was army crawling on the beach to collect turtle tears. The goal, she said, is to figure out if those tears contain magnetotactic bacteria. That would be one indication that these animals might be using bacteria for navigation.
“We’re not entirely sure how magnetotactic bacteria could be facilitating a magnetic sense, but that seemed like a good place to start,” Martin said.
While her research is still underway, Martin has yet to find evidence of magnetotactic bacteria in the tears of the 30 or so turtles she’s analyzed so far. That’s disappointing, she said, but it doesn’t rule out the possibility that these bacteria exist somewherein the body of a turtle and help them navigate.
“There are so many other ideas about ways that magnetotactic bacteria could provide information to an organism about Earth’s magnetic field,” she said. “There’s a variety of other locations and other taxa that might be better for studying this theory.”
Other scientists who study animal navigation are skeptical.
It’s unlikely that symbiosis with magnetotactic bacteria is what enables sea turtle navigation, said Monteil. Part of the problem is that there’s no known mechanism through which the bacteria would communicate with the turtle. It’s also not clear what magnetotactic bacteria would get out of this relationship, if it is indeed symbiotic — could sea turtles provide the conditions bacteria need to survive? Maybe. Maybe not.
What’s more, Monteil said, is that magnetotactic bacteria are widespread in the environment, so even if Martin did find them in sea turtle tears, it would do little to prove the theory. Just because magnetic bacteria are present doesn’t mean they’re helping the animal navigate.
But then again, other theories are still entirely unproven, too — and some of them are a lot weirder.
“I don’t think it is impossible,” Monteil said of sea turtles and other organisms using magnetic bacteria to navigate. “Nothing is impossible. Life is amazing and has found ways to do things that we couldn’t imagine centuries before.”
A few months ago, I began listening to a podcast about sword and sorcery books. It was great, it began in 2019 and featured three guys, who all played off of each other incredibly well. I was excited that I had six years of episodes to catch up on until I reached the first episode recorded once COVID began. The tone was different. Their demeanor was different, and you could hear the anger and rage at the world rising up.
I decided to skip ahead a few episodes, but it didn’t get any better. In fact, it may have gotten worse. I kept skipping ahead, all the way until I was through the COVID era shows, but the show never came back. The hosts, one particularly, were different. He was tired, beat down, and despite churning out content, you could tell life was different for him. I gave up on the show, which was a shame since it started out so great.
I mention this story, because I feel like I’m seeing the same thing happening across the internet. Over the past couple of months, most of my favorite bloggers have written less. I’ve seen individuals who are practically walking away from the internet, as much as they can, within reason. I think if I had to sum up what I know I’m feeling, and I think a lot of others are in one word: exhaustion.
It’s tiresome keeping up with the onslaught of negativity online. It doesn’t matter if it’s political, social, entertainment, tech related, or regular ole discussion, the negativity and frustration is at an all-time high. There is no escape. At one point, it seemed that personal blogs and small online communities were the refuge against big tech/advertising/negativity, but they are just as negative, if not more, without the advertising.
I remember when surfing the web or escaping into cyberspace was a break from real life. It was a place where I could go to relax and escape the worries of my regular life. Now, it seems every time I log on, I find something new to stress about, something else to be pissed off about, and I just don’t know how much more of this I can take. I guess things have come full circle, now I go offline to escape real life and relax, as the internet has truly become the place where I hate to be.
“People are package deals; you take the good with the confused. In most cases, strengths and weaknesses are two sides of the same coin.” — Steve Jobs
I’ve noticed something interesting about almost every engineer I’ve managed: their biggest strengths and their most frustrating weaknesses are often the exact same trait showing up in different contexts.
I learned this lesson personally when I was still a junior engineer. My ability to code quickly made me very productive — I’d often ship features in half the time estimated. My manager praised my speed constantly.
Well, until one day… During a particularly painful postmortem, we discovered that a production issue happened because of an edge case I had missed in my rush to complete the feature. My strength (coding speed) and my weakness (occasionally overlooking details) weren’t separate traits — they were the exact same characteristic showing up differently depending on the context.
This isn’t just true for me or a few people — it’s nearly universal. The qualities we celebrate in our team members are usually the same ones causing our biggest headaches. They’re not separate traits; they’re two sides of the same coin.
So what can we do about this? Three things have helped me:
Get real about this duality in your 1:1s. Most people see their strengths and weaknesses as separate things. They’re not. In 1:1s, I’ll say something like: “Your ability to dive deep into problems is why you find solutions nobody else can. It’s also why you sometimes miss deadlines. Same trait, different outcomes.” This simple reframing helps people stop beating themselves up over their “flaws.”
Be crystal clear about context. Don’t make people guess when their natural tendencies help versus hurt. One of my engineers was incredibly collaborative—wouldn’t make a single decision without getting everyone’s input. I told him exactly when this worked and when it didn’t: “For architecture decisions? Get all the input you want. For day-to-day coding decisions? You have permission to just decide and move on.” This clear guidance helped him develop his own judgment about when to lean into his collaborative nature.
Use tension as a feature, not a bug. Some managers try to build teams where everyone works the same way. That’s a mistake. I once paired our fastest coder with our most methodical, thorough reviewer. The first week was pure chaos—they drove each other nuts. By the third week, they were producing better code than either could alone; the fast coder started anticipating the thorough one’s concerns, and the methodical one learned which shortcuts were actually okay to take.
The goal isn’t to create “balanced” engineers with no pronounced strengths or weaknesses. That’s just impossible. We want self-aware engineers who understand their natural tendencies and can adjust them based on what each situation demands.
I don’t think our job is to sand down people’s edges until everyone’s the same boring shape. We’re not trying to “fix” our engineers. Instead, we’re helping them see themselves clearly, warts and all, and teaching them when to crank up or dial back their natural tendencies. It’s more like coaching someone to use their power effectively than trying to rebuild them from scratch.
After all, we’re all package deals. The traits that make us brilliant will inevitably challenge us in other contexts. Understanding this doesn’t just make us better managers — it makes us more compassionate humans.
Teen pop sensation Aaron Carter’s 2000 song “That’s How I Beat Shaq” from the album Aaron’s Party (Come Get It) is nothing short of a musical masterpiece and quite possibly one of the most important pieces of music ever burnt to disc. It lyrically chronicles Aaron Carter’s astounding triumph over the titular Shaquille O’Neal in a one verses one game of basketball.
This post aims to provide the most in-depth analysis of the song, its music video, and other associated factors published on the internet. I have spent a non-negligible amount of time researching and learning the rules and motions of basketball to provide a complete and comprehensive breakdown.
For complete clarity, no part of this post has been written by large language models, and it is all the gurgitated output of my evidently warped and distorted mind. This article is provided “as is”, without warranty of any kind, express or implied, including but not limited to the warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose and noninfringement. In no event shall the author be liable for any claim, damages or other liability, whether in an action of contract, tort or otherwise, arising from, out of or in connection with this article or the use or other dealings of this horrific output. I have no remorse and only minor regret.
Production
The 10th song and 4th single from Aaron Carter’s second album, Aaron’s Party (Come Get It), That’s How I Beat Shaq, was released by the label Jive Records. It was produced by Brian Kieralf and Josh Schwartz for KNS Productions and Larry “Rock” Campbell for Zomba Recording Corporation. It was recorded by Kieralf and Schwartz at The Dojo, Jackson, New Jersey, and Battery Studios, New York City.
Eric Schlotzer served as the assistant recording engineer, and the song was mixed by Rich Travali at Battery Studios, with Charles McCroey serving as assistant mix engineer.
The music video was made available on both VHS and DVD, and the album was later certified 3× platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America with sales of over 3 million. The next year Aaron’s third album, “Oh Aaron”, would be released.
Analysis
This is a complete and detailed breakdown of both the song itself and its associated music video. I will advise that you listen to the song and watch the video in full to avoid spoilers, although it is worth noting that, like comparable works such as Romeo and Juliet or Halo Reach, the outcome is already divulged at the start – in the title in this case.
And it goes, and it goes And it goes a little something like this
This lyric sets up the song as a story being told. The video features Aaron riding in timelapse through a park on a scooter while a dog catches a Frisbee in its mouth. This is particularly notable given that Aaron is riding across grass on his scooter, which is no easy feat.
Hit It! Aaron’s in the house Come on Get up get up I wanna make it bounce Here we go Aaron’s in the house Get up get up Aaron’s in the house
This is where we first get a proper look at Aaron’s fans. They seem remarkably old considering Aaron’s age of around 13 at the time. They also seem to have been prepared for something to happen given that they are gathered, have signage, and five of them have each painted a letter on their chest so that together they spell out his name.
At the conclusion of this verse, the video employs a still image of Aaron’s head to achieve a horizontal wipe transition into the next section of the music video.
Yo guys, check it out Guess what happened to me (Another crazy story, come on AC) I was hanging at the court Just playing some ball Working on my game (Yeah, we heard it all) I heard the fans screaming I thought it was for me
The girl saying, “Another crazy story, come on AC,” indicates that Aaron is known for fabricating stories or over-exaggerating. Carter’s evident narcissistic tendencies are manifested in his lyrical self-positioning here, as his mind immediately jumps to thinking people are screaming about him.
But then I saw a shadow It was 12 foot 3 It was Shaquile O’Neal
Shaquille O’Neal is 216cm tall, a far cry from the 373cm indicated by Aaron’s assessment. Though, given Aaron’s short stature, it would make sense for him to exaggerate Shaq’s height. Of course, this also acts to make his eventual success seem more impressive.
(What? What did he say?) (How ‘bout some one-on-one, do you wanna play?) I told him why not, I got some time But when I beat you real bad Try not to cry
This verse indicates that Aaron is flippant about Shaq, potentially as he has already met Shaq before while his brother was recording demos at Shaq’s house. It isn’t clear if this song and video take place in a real-life continuity, though.
(Please Aaron, are you for real?) (One-on-one with Shaquile O’Neal?) Yeah, 34 Centre from the L.A. Lakers
At the time of the song’s release, Shaq was playing under jersey number 34 in the Los Angeles Lakers, hence this lyric. Over his career, he actually played more time overall under other teams with the jersey number 32.
(You must’ve been nervous) I knew I could take him Stared’ at Shaq, psyche him out I said O’Neal, you’re in my house now
This is the beginning of Aaron’s employment of psychological intimidation and manipulation tactics towards Shaq, which are followed up throughout the song via Aaron’s quips and his all-important game-winning shoelace trickery.
Start the game the whistle blows Pay attention close ‘cause the story goes…
These lyrics act to remind the listener that this song is presented as a story, and thus that some details might be hyperbole.
[CHORUS] It’s like boom (boom) I put it in the hoop Like slam (slam) I heard the crowd screaming out jam (jam) I swear that I’m telling you the facts Cuz that’s how I beat Shaq
[X2]
Despite the fact that I previously mentioned that this is being told as a story and implied that Aaron might be an unreliable narrator prone to exaggeration, he explicitly states here that he swears that he is stating fact, so I’m inclined to believe him. This chorus indicates Aaron is seeing great success, despite what one might expect from a teenager taking on an incredibly successful and tall professional basketball player.
So check it out I thought I had the lead But then he started scoring mad points on me I was scorin’ the bricks Was he hitting those shots? I knew that there was a way that I could make it stop
Despite the success indicated in the previous verse, the score quickly turns against Aaron. It is quite possible that Shaq was merely toying with Aaron at the beginning, much like apex predators will toy with their prey before finally killing it.
At this point in the video, we are graced by an absolutely wonderful shot in which the camera does a rotation around Shaq’s head before he snaps his vision directly down the camera and at the viewer. This could be interpreted as showing that Shaq is locked in and playing to win.
I had a plan, that I could change the pace I said, Yo Shaq you didn’t tie your shoelace He looked down, I stole the ball
Aaron employs psychological tactics to distract Shaq from the game at play and deceptively directs his attention to his shoelaces by lying about them being untied, which permits him to acquire the ball. We are also treated to another shot of Shaq in which his jowls and lips flobber around in slow motion as he turns his head.
I’m taking him to school now, watch me all A 3-pointer, nothing but net
Due to Shaq’s size, it would be impractical for Aaron to attempt a layup, jump shot, slam dunk, etc, so he plays to his strengths by performing a 3-point field goal which arcs over Shaq and negates his size advantage. Nothing but net indicates that the shot was successful, as evidenced by the video.
Come on Shaq, had enough yet? Down by two, I’m catching up I guess your getting nervous Cuz you already lost
At this point in the song, Aaron is catching up swiftly on Shaq’s score, requiring only two more points to match his. Aaron is taunting Shaq with this fact with his lyrics.
It is also at this point in the video that Aaron blatantly takes several with the ball while evading Shaq without dribbling. Despite this, it does not seem that he receives a travelling violation, which could indicate bias from the adjudicators in favour of Aaron – potentially because he is still perceived as the underdog.
[CHORUS]
Dunk after dunk Jam after jam Cheerleaders are cheering Aaron’s the man [X2]
Aaron continues on with his success and makes several successful dunks. As mentioned previously, Shaq’s height posed a disadvantage to Aaron’s success, but apparently this is no longer a limiting factor for Aaron, who is now consistently managing to not only reach the hoop but also achieve consistent slam dunks. This implies Aaron’s vertical is rather impressive, though we never see him accomplish a dunk in motion.
Announcers were shocked Couldn’t believe it was real (I can’t believe a kid just stuffed O’Neal) One more second, was all that remained I put the ball up I put him in shame I must admit that it sounds real crazy but the ball went in Then he cried like a baby Sorry Shaq, I should’ve let you win You’re good too And we can still be friends
The announcers at this point are extremely surprised by Aaron’s success. It is worth questioning why there are announcers present at all. Given this is a simple basketball game, it seems extremely questionable that there would be professional announcers wearing suits at a table with broadcast microphones. This could be interpreted as a tip-off that not all is as it would appear.
The fans went nuts They put me on their shoulders Then I heard a voice And it sounded like my mother’s
While the fans are going ballistic, Aaron states that he hears the voice of his mother. While there have been several inconsistencies and odd ongoings throughout the song and video, this is the first explicit indication that not all is as it seems. It is common for dreams to end on extreme highs or lows, which aligns with the event of Aaron winning his match and being celebrated by his fans.
(Get up for school, you’re gonna be late!) Ma, can’t you see that I’m playing the game? (How you could be playing if you’re still in bed?) (Are you gettin’ sick, did you hit your head?) Aw, man it was all a dream I guess that kinda thing could never happen to me
The video at this point transitions from the basketball court to Aaron’s bedroom, which is adorned with various basketball memorabilia. In the music video, the mother’s lines here are lip-synced with expert accuracy.
If it was a dream and it wasn’t real How’d I get a jersey with the name O’Neal? Woah…
Where did the jersey come from? One possible interpretation is that the song did all take place in a dream and he simply already owned the jersey, perhaps having bought it or acquired it from Shaq directly. Seeing it as he fell asleep could have influenced his dreamscape.
It is also possible that it manifested in physical reality as a result of his dream, much like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang proceeded to fly at the end of the 1968 film despite most of the film’s phantasmagorical events taking place in a story.
The scene following the bedroom revelation is a return to the chorus and once again shows Aaron dancing around the basketball court with cheerleaders, which further brings into question the reality of the video’s events. If it truly is a dream, then why does the video return to Aaron on the basketball court after the scene in his bedroom? Is it simply Aaron remembering key facts from his dream, or did the entire thing actually happen after all?
Several inconsistencies challenge a literal interpretation. It is implied during Shaq’s introduction that their meeting is by chance, so it seems odd that Aaron inexplicably has so many fans already present in the stands. It is even more conspicuous when you consider how prepared they were with signage. There also seems to be a fully choreographed dance with cheerleaders. This could be non-diegetic given it is only visually presented in cutaways, but it is directly referenced in the lyrics which would indicate it does have some direct grounding.
In an interview with E! News, Shaq revealed that the song is loosely based on reality. Aaron would frequently come over while his brother Nick, who was in the Backstreet Boys, was recording demos at Shaq’s house. During these visits, Shaq would play basketball with Aaron, who actually once beat him in a game of HORSE. The song clearly exaggerates this genuine interaction.
It isn’t entirely clear if this song is presented as embellished fact, a completely fabricated story, or if it is entirely the output of Aaron’s dream state. Whichever it is has implications on how it should be interpreted.
Is this simply Aaron embellishing details in his storytelling? Is it the illogical fabric of a dream? Or perhaps something in between fantasy and reality? I don’t have answers to these questions. The ambiguity is part of the song’s enduring charm and mystique. I don’t think anyone knows for certain. The interpretation, ultimately, remains yours to decide.
It could also have occurred exactly as is outlined in this YouTube comment, but I digress.
References
Due to That’s How I Beat Shaq’s huge and overwhelming influence on culture, politics, and general world affairs, it has been referenced and used in multiple places throughout the years.
Musician and long-time creator of web things Neil Cicierega has referenced That’s How I Beat Shaq and other Aaron Carter musical releases multiple times. The two most notable occurrences being The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny and Aaron.
The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny is a 2005 song with an accompanying music video by Shawn Vulliez. Originally published on Newgrounds, it would later be re-released under Cicierega’s musical project Lemon Demon in his 2006 album Dinosaurchestra.
The song features an epic fight between a wide array of pop culture and historical figures. Towards the beginning, Shaq enters the fight to block Godzilla, who is hopping around Tokyo and has been aggravated by one of Batman’s batgrenades. Shaq opens up a can of Shaq-Fu when Aaron Carter enters the fray and beats him up. It is worth noting that they can seemingly both fly. While Aaron is beating up Shaq, they are both tragically run down by the Batmobile. Later in the video Aaron’s evidently dead body is shown bleeding out on the floor with tyre tracks around him and Shaq next to him. Shaq manages to get up, although he has a tyre mark running down the length of his body, and is then accosted by Jackie Chan, who latches onto his back. Jackie Chan manages to deflect a stray bullet shot by Batman that would have hit Shaq with his fist before leaping into the air, doing a summersault, and colliding with Abraham Lincoln. While Shaq’s death is not mentioned in the song nor explicitly shown in the music video, he presumably does not survive given Mr Rodger’s overall triumph.
Aaron is a 2015 remix of That’s How I Beat Shaq. Featuring Aaron’s vocals, much of the instrumental is original. It was released alongside a music video which is presented from the point of view of Cicierega’s wrist as it interacts with a wide array of items. At the beginning, the hand mainly interacts with a computer keyboard where it cycles through Google image results for the album cover of Aaron’s Party (Come Get It), but it later transitions to interact with all sorts of knick-knacks – most of which coming from the 90s and early 2000s and being relevant to teen interests around the time of the original song’s release.
Rematch
In a 2013 episode of Upload with Shaquille O’Neal, Shaq invites Aaron to a rematch. Shaq explains that if Aaron can manage to score a single hoop, $5000 will be donated to his charity of choice, to which Aaron explains he is playing for the “Aaron Carter needs a jet ski foundation”. Aaron, who is still dwarfed by Shaq, then proceeds not to manage a single point, losing 116 to nil.
The rematch features several callbacks and references to the song, with Shaq calling out Aaron’s blatant travelling, and Shaq quipping, “You ain’t singin’ now,” to which Aaron responds with, “It was a rap song.”
xkcd
xkcd is “a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language” that began in 2005. The 2016 strip Future Archaeology, which is a continuation of the previous comic Spider Paleontology, features references to Aaron’s triumph over Shaq.
The comics include an orb from the distant future that explains that it doesn’t know much about human history and culture and that only two written accounts have been reconstructed. One is the Bible story of Noah, and the other is “an account of how a man named Aaron Carter defeated a god named Shaq”. The characters mention that the story might have been a tad distorted by time.
As Explain xkcd details, the title text furthers the joke with the orb explaining that the only links between the two two texts they’ve identified is Aaron being the name of Moses’s brother as well and that it has assumed they are one and the same, which has led to the incorrect conclusion that Aaron’s brother parted the Red Sea, rather than Aaron’s actual brother Nick Carter, who is a member of the Backstreet Boys.
My Experience
I do not remember when I first heard the song, but I do remember when it took hold of my mind. I had awoken at an early hour of the morning in a state of delirium. 3:00 on a Thursday morning and my mind had conjured a song in my head. I could hear it echoing around my skull, yet it evaded me when I tried to focus on it.
It was as if my mind was clinging to sleep and my subconscious was taunting my conscious with 2000s teen pop.
“Boom, I put it in the hoop like slam!”
I was awake, and I could hear it. It was filling my brain. “What am I hearing?” I thought to myself as it overpowered my thought. It was the voice of Aaron.
“I swear that I’m telling you the facts”
He was telling me how he beat Shaq.
I managed to slip back into a state of slumber, but he held his place within my subconscious. When I awoke to start the day, I was compelled to listen to the song. I listened to it again as I ate breakfast. I played it again as I waited for the bus. I played it as I got to class that day. I passed it to my peers.
I played it for them. I educated them. I showed them the music video.
The song worked its way into legend within our class. Birthdays were not marred by “Happy Birthday to You,” as is tradition, but instead uplifted by Aaron’s vocal wonder. VLC’s hidden puzzle functionality meant that the video was completed many-a-time as a jigsaw, and of course I took time to make a version bass boosted beyond recognition. It became an anthem throughout a year which was otherwise a nightmare thanks to corporate mismanagement and malicious incompetence, and for that I am thankful.
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